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THE ONION

December 6, 2009

“The Onion Presents Our Front Pages” –  a Book Review by John Lehman of America’s Finest News Source

Stop the Presses!

Perhaps we never grow up. What we laughed at in our formative years, Mad Magazine for example, draws us to what we laugh at as adults, The Onion. I don’t know if that realization is funny or sad, but here is a big coffee table book of satire to read while pondering the question. 

As a Wisconsinite I particularly like the early years (the “O” started out here): “Gov Proclaims November Masturbation Month” and “UW Cuts Funding Of Coed Naked Sports” (Wasn’t “Coed Naked Sports” a t-shirt? What kind of a publication plagiarizes a t-shirt?). I can see taking this book out from the library, but why would someone buy it, I hear you asking. Because, the more you look the more you find. We read this in fine print: “Beatles reunion tour ends after chair mishap,” for example, and realize we really live a kind of non-sequitor existence that goes beyond cheap SNL sarcasm. A world the “serious” media ever admits. Truth! Can we take it? “War, Come On, Let’s Have One,” “Clever bumper Stickers Resolve Abortion Issue,” “Pope Forgives Molested Children” and “Nursery Home Has ’96 Die-Off.”

Maybe Speed Stick isn’t available in Neapolitan yet and Christ has not returned to the NBA “…chipping in 13 points, 4 assists and wowing fans with his trademark ‘Ascension Dunk.’” But the reality is main-stream daily newspapers are dropping like horse turds and The Onion is getting the red-carpet treatment. Perhaps we should just accept that the…“Last Literate Person On Earth Is Dead At 98.” But who cares. Or in the wisdom of our childhood, “What Me Worry?” Hey, we don’t have to hide from our parents anymore. Meanwhile my favorites are “Pier1 Issues Formal Apology For Rattan Death March” and “Disembodied Voice In Elevator Wants To Know Way to San Jose.” They make at least as much sense as anything else does today.

–       John Lehman, http://www.RosebudBookReviews.com

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